For years, I dreamed of traveling to France. What girl hasn’t? Anyone against indulging in delicious pastries or sipping wine at a cafe while marveling at stunning architecture is no friend of mine.
This year my dreams finally came true and I got the opportunity to venture to the glorious land of macaroons and champagne 3 different times. But before my maiden voyage, I must confess I was a bit nervous. I’d heard dozens of stereotypes about the French and their great disdain for the annoying tendencies of American’s. So I did my homework, held my breath, and exhaled a great sigh of relief immediately upon arrival.
As it turns out, the French are extremely lovely people, and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about them. But I also learned that a few basic tips can go a long way to be well-mannered and gracious (fighting off one poor US stereotype at a time!)
So if you’re looking to go yourself, take these simple tips along to avoid looking like an inconsiderate tourist so you can fall completely in love with the people of France.
Parlez-vous français?
Don’t let this intimidate you, but try to learn a little French. I’m not suggesting you become fluent, for Pete’s sake. But knowing a few basic phrases will carry you far. More than likely, the locals will detect your accent and promptly switch the conversation to English (especially in major cities) But it’s always appreciated that you made the effort. And who can blame them? If someone from Zanzibar walked up to you here in the U.S. jabbering away in Swahili, would you be able to respond? And even if you could, you’re still likely to be thrown off a little. So download a simple app like Learn French that’s chalk full of all the basics you will need (greetings, general conversation questions, directions, etc.)
Bonus Tip: If you have any dietary restrictions, learn how to explain those clearly. For example, I eat seafood but not other meat so I made sure I could say "Je ne mange pas de viande. Je mange des fruits de mer. Qu’est ce que tu recommends?"
Embrace lassiez-fare
French women embody an effortless vibe from head to toe, starting with their beautifully bare faces. Here in America, we’ve become somewhat of a “cover it up” society: concealers, foundation, powders, contouring, highlighters, blush… the list goes on. But the common routine in France? A kick butt skincare regimen (these gals don’t need to cover anything up). The more I noticed the fresh-faced women during my stay, I progressively eased up on my own makeup routine with a simple coat of mascara (and occasionally a pop red lip). No makeup not your thing? Fear not all ye lovers of Sephora, because a French woman’s laissez faire look goes far beyond a minimalist makeup routine. Women in France own that “I woke up like this” vibe with their beautifully undone hair.
For French-inspired locks, give your hair dryer and styling tools a break and instead, embrace that tousled ‘au natural’ look. If you want something that feels a little more polished, try a sleek pony for that simple yet pulled together style.
Top off your French beauty basics with an effortlessly chic wardrobe. Once again, less is more. Focus on muted colors and rich textures, staying away from over the top prints or embellishments (you can never go wrong with black on black). For outerwear, stick with a leather jacket or the classic “trench and scarf”. And for your feet? Ballet flats are both stylish and practical (making them a French woman’s bestie). Put it all together, and c’est magnifique!
Bonjour Madame! & Merci, Au Revoir!
It’s a common courtesy to tip 18-20% while dining out in the states (which you don’t need to do in France, by the way). So imagine how annoyed a server here would be to receive a dollar or two after someone’s extravagant meal. Similar emotions could apply to not greeting your shopkeepers in France. Quite often, they’ll beat you to the punch with an enthusiastic and warm “Bonjour Madame!” but in the off chance that they don’t see you come in, make a point to respect the local culture and take the lead to say hello. And regardless of if you purchase anything or not, offer a smile and “Merci, Au Revoir!” on your way out.
La Bise
During my first trip to Paris, I met up with a friend of a friend whom I’d become acquainted with over email. Given the mutual connection and history of our conversation, I saw this person as a friend, so I went in for the hug. Awkward doesn’t even begin to encompass the mess of twisted confusion that was happening as I tried wrapping my arms around him while he attempted to kiss my cheeks, which is the appropriate greeting in France (although do your research, because how many varies depending where you are). Fortunately, he was gracious-though I still felt stupid. So in the event that you’ll be introduced to locals, skip the handshakes and hugs and go for an air kiss on each cheek instead (no actual lip contact!) If you’re nervous, just lean in a little and they’ll more than likely take care of the rest without blinking. Once I met some other friends and got over my initial awkward hump, it became second nature- even fun!
Bonus Tip: Before going cheek to cheek, remove hats or sunglasses to eliminate any tricky obstacles!
Appreciating people for their differences and learning about a new culture is one of the most exciting parts of traveling. So even when some of those differences are evident, remember that basic decencies will always work to your advantage: control the volume of your voice, say please and thank you, smile… you know the drill. We’re all human beings at the end of the day, and kindness can move mountains.
